Cabbages are not flowers!

I've been thinking about ornamental cabbages.

For a long time now, one thing has been bugging me. Who decided that there should ever be such a thing. I know, I'm being ungrateful. They're still cabbages, right. I can still munch on them (wait, do slugs actually munch, or does that require a certain kind of teeth?) just like the garden variety, so I should just say thank you and glide on. But really, people. Ornamental? Are you taunting me? Take a nice, full head of cabbage that should be resting in its native dirt, and put it in a pot in the middle of a concrete patio or driveway or sidewalk? For the love of rain, WHY? Do you know how it feels to have the concrete tickling your underbelly, how hard it is to glide up the side of those pots, and how trapped I feel once I'm there?

Oh. Right. I guess you do.

Nevermind.