Put Away the Pot

Dear nameless slug,

I hear that slugs are related to lobsters, shrimp (or is that shrimps?) and other kinds of seafood. Do you feel superior to them because slugs are not made into chowder and because escargot is considered far more high class than a shrimp cocktail? Or is there more of a sympathetic relationship?

~A lobster lover

Dear Loblov,

I have never personally made it as far as the ocean, so I do not know any of my more distant mollusk relatives personally. However, I assure you that as a group we slugs hold no animosity toward our more saline cousins. The relationship is not one I would describe as sympathetic, and since escargot are traditionally snails, not slugs, the superiority issues are also absent (our relationship with snails is quite another story, as you may have gleaned from a previous post).

For the culinarily curious reading this, I highly recommend against attempting to break the bouillon boundaries with slug chowder. For one thing, our membership in the mollusk brethren puts us in a high risk category for food allergies among humans; for another, when slugs are consumed by a human, that human then becomes the target of unrelenting slime spirits for the rest of his or her days and will never again feel warm and dry and other sensations humans find comfortable.

Thanks for asking a slug,
~A nameless slug in the Pacific Northwest