Slugs in the Workplace

Dear Slug...

What a name Slug... how come your name isn't something catchier like Energizer Bunny, or Boffo, or Zippy?

Anyway I digress...

I have to work for a living, something it seems most slugs are able to avoid doing at all costs... Do you have any suggestions on how to rid oneself of very negative, pouty bosses who seem to resent letting you breath 'their' air, let alone pay you the tiny pittance they call a pay check????

Sad in Scio.

Dear SadSci,

My name is not Slug. I have no name, not even a symbol (which, if nothing else, makes me cooler than the artist formerly known a Prince...not hard to do, I suppose). But since your idea of cool involves monikers set aside for clowns and hyperactive rabbits, I can see how you might be confused.

Regarding your work concerns, have you tried leaving a slime trail behind you everywhere you go? You might also consider wallowing in a nearby vegetable patch, where you can have a snack and absorb some good, earthy aromas that only get better with time. I am quite confident that if you engage in these practices regularly, you will find yourself not working at all.

Good luck,
~A nameless slug in the Pacific Northwest