Addiction Conviction

OK, why did you have to put a HIGHLY addictive computer game on your blug Slug?(or is it slug? Is 'Slug' your actual name, as well as your species or is 'slug' your description or?????)

Anyway, I fear I may now find it highly difficult to get any type of constructive activity, such as work, accomplished, so shame on you Slug (or was it slug? you need to clarify that one please) for contributing to the delinquency of an adult!

~BB Supreme

Dear Supr-B,

I'm afraid I've heard that complaint from more than one person. Unfortunately, I cannot manipulate the arrow keys fast enough to advance beyond the first few seconds of the game, so I was unaware that it was such a dangerous addition to my blog. Fear not, however, my Supreme friend, for the games I place here keep crashing, and if the current offering does not repair itself soon (I'm told it was glitching today), it may end up being replaced by an offering you find less difficult to resist.

As for whether "slug" is my name or my species, the answer is no.

My species is Arion ater, or European Black Slug, but as I've never been to Europe I usually avoid that description for fear of seeming to put on airs. "Slug" is simply the common name for denizens of the shell-free branch of class Gastropoda. Calling me "slug" is the equivalent of calling me "dude." If you capitalize "dude" outside of references to The Big Lebowski, I hope the ghost of every slug crushed to death by an English teacher haunts you until you learn the error of your ways.

Slughugs,

~A nameless slug in the Pacific Northwest

P.S. I was going to be rude and mention that you needn't have asked the question about my name if you had read my signature, but then I realized that it was entirely my fault for enabling your gaming addiction and you couldn't be held responsible for reading bylines when Q-Bert was calling. My sincerest apologies for the indelicate thoughts, and best wishes for your speedy and inexpensive recovery from the vice I so heartlessly thrust upon you. While I am normally perfectly happy with my lot as a gastropod, I do occasionally envy you a good round of Ms. Pac Man.